Where the hell did I fuck up & let him get to me? How the hell did I handle this for so long then suddenly abandon everything I've been teaching myself? Why do I feel for him now?
I feel fucking stupid. I never meant to like him more than I already did. What the hell was I thinking?
I wanted it to be casual, I didn't have to think about him everyday, I only missed him on rare occasions and today, I missed him all day.
Stupiiiid me. Now I'm awake, thinking about it entirely too much, knowing he's not going to call or text or IM or say anything to me because that's how we've been for months.
Self-realization, I really like him & I don't want to.
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