Me & Boys

So, everytime I go out with a guy or see someone I like or whatever interaction takes place, I usually end up pondering it over through the next day.

I'm done thinking about it today, but I wanted to write some stuff that sounded kinda interesting to me.

I always believed that exes or guys I've had some sort of relationship could still be my friends because who better to know you than someone who knows you as a friend and as a girlfriend. I happened to ask someone I used to talk to for some type of input on the guy I'm kind of talking to now.

I was explaining how it was weird how the relationship started. Pretty much this guy is a friend of a friend and we just started holding hands at clubs and he was just all lovey dovey and sweet. And my friend interrupted my explanation to say, you just have that effect on people, you get closer and closer eventually touching a guys arm or something and then you end up holding their hand. I honestly was taken aback when he said that, but then I never take anything MDR says offensively 'cause I value his input, I'd like to say he knows me pretty well. I also thought that was pretty interesting of him to say because I think I tend to do it to him too. So then I started thinking to myself, why do I do that? Then I started explaining to MDR that I don't expect anything of the guy, but yet I like him and MDR says, well you shouldn't expect anything of the guy. And I said something like, so I shouldn't try to persue anything? And MDR said nope because you don't even take yourself seriously, how do you expect to take someone else seriously? That kinda slapped me in the cheek lightly, I didn't see it coming, but I knew he was right.

Maybe that's why I haven't had a relationship for a year and a half, it's because I don't even take myself seriously. Every guy I've talked to lately, I don't really give him the time of day or any real type of relationship move, so maybe that's why they don't do it for me. Maybe it's just this huge cycle. Maybe we've gotten so old and so smart that we really do look at the significant other too much and judge him/her completely. Maybe, I've told myself for so long not to take any guy seriously and not to give him much so that he'll give me more, but yet I'm making him look at me the way I look at him.

I'm curious now. I want to test this theory.

Thanks MDR.

Btw, I'm actually gonna "blog" on the next entry, I went to the Natural History Museum with my cousin Matt & I took pictures with my phone. Forgive the poor image quality, I wanted to try the blog & picture bit. Next time I'll try to remember to bring a real camera.