Bliss

What is bliss really and do we ever truly achieve it at any point in their life?

I told myself that as of recently, I'm at this point of complete contentment with the way my life is going. I'm still going to school & still partying, the way I like my life. I guess the only aspect of my life that's kind of a downer is my financial situation, but I'm still waiting for my financial aid to kick in before March.

I can't be depending on my mother's income to supplement my activities. I can't be depending on people who are not myself for finances.

I wish I could get a job and please believe, I have tried for the past 4 months and I've either gotten rejection letters or no calls back. The economy is in a rut and therefore so is their hiring rate.

But anyways, the reason why I'm so contented is maybe I've finally found someone to take seriously. Kinda messed up yesterday, but I'll see if he makes up for it within in the next two days. I can't really hold anything against him because he notified me of how he'd be since the get go. But I don't think he quite gets me just yet. And he called us friends, so maybe that's all it really is and I need to talk to him because if that's all it's gonna be then we're obviously not on the same page.

The reason I like him is because we talk, frequently and we talk about real shit. And if I ask him a question, he will answer it, not like your average shmoe that tries to give you a runaround answer. Like if I asked, "do you like me?" Then average dude thinks, OMFG she's obsessed already. I'm NOT obsessed, I'm blunt as fuck. Don't waste my time because I will waste yours too.

And I realized I have an insecurity. I get scared that every guy I like will act like we're nothing infront of our peers and act like I'm everything when we're alone. I hate being hidden. I think it's childish.

Random tangents. I wanted to blab.

Edit: He's good [: he made my day.