Well, You USED to..

you used to say you got me
you used to even tell me you cared
you used to describe the things you'd do
if i could only be there

you used to make me happy
you used to put a smile on my face
now everything i say to you
is almost recieved in distaste

you used call me everyday
just to talk while you were on break
b'cus you never wanted me to forget
that you were the real deal, not the fake

you used to try real hard
just to get me to notice you
now it's like you're jst too busy
because your lifestyle consumes you

you used to laugh
and tease me all the time
never lettin' me forget
that you would soon be mine

you always made me promises
we'll hang out this day & that
but the promises never came true
you never spoke any facts

you used to hold my hand in public
you used to even kiss my cheek
and now it looks like there's nothin' there
and my heart slowly grows weak

you used to smile at me all the time
b'cus i was supposed to be that girl
the one who would have the patience
to stick it through & be in your world

you used talk about me
to your nearest & dearest friends
b'cus you thought that
maybe this time, there wouldn't be an end

you used to say good morning
& goodnight every single day
now i feel like you've forgotten
i don't even get a hello or hey

i was the one who was standoffish
in the very beginning stage
i didn't want to be involved
b'cus i had high walls & a cage

you were the one who said
let's try this thing out 'cus you'll never know
maybe you & i could be happy
let's do this right together & grow

you used to say not to hide the feelings
because you couldn't fight yours too
what happened to our beautiful beginning
i feel like i've lost you..

- Mica Largo

Valentine's Day

I never updated about Valentine's Day did I?

Well, I spent my Valentine's Day weekend with some of the greatest people in my life. My best friend Joanna Guo, my 21XL FamBam & our 21XL Honorary Groupies [: It was dopeness really.

But the one person who made my Valentine's the greatest was C.L. If you know 'bout it dope, if you don't know, you can try, but I might not tell much. We don't really want people all up in our bizness.

Here's some photos from our mini-vacay:

My Best Friend (9+ Years) & I


The One Who Makes Me Nervous


KimiLove One Of Our Honorary Groupies & She Knows It!


Birthday Boys!


The Craziest Looking Bathroom Ever


Dopest Flix of Jayarr & Joanna, That They DON'T Remember


Girls x1


Girls x2


Girls x3


Group Flix


Girls x4


Bunny


Very Artistic Candid Pix That I Didn't Know Jan Took


There's Soooooo Many Pictures. Check Any Of Our Facebooks or Myspaces For Albums.

I gotta finish getting ready for scuela. Cheerios!

Bliss

What is bliss really and do we ever truly achieve it at any point in their life?

I told myself that as of recently, I'm at this point of complete contentment with the way my life is going. I'm still going to school & still partying, the way I like my life. I guess the only aspect of my life that's kind of a downer is my financial situation, but I'm still waiting for my financial aid to kick in before March.

I can't be depending on my mother's income to supplement my activities. I can't be depending on people who are not myself for finances.

I wish I could get a job and please believe, I have tried for the past 4 months and I've either gotten rejection letters or no calls back. The economy is in a rut and therefore so is their hiring rate.

But anyways, the reason why I'm so contented is maybe I've finally found someone to take seriously. Kinda messed up yesterday, but I'll see if he makes up for it within in the next two days. I can't really hold anything against him because he notified me of how he'd be since the get go. But I don't think he quite gets me just yet. And he called us friends, so maybe that's all it really is and I need to talk to him because if that's all it's gonna be then we're obviously not on the same page.

The reason I like him is because we talk, frequently and we talk about real shit. And if I ask him a question, he will answer it, not like your average shmoe that tries to give you a runaround answer. Like if I asked, "do you like me?" Then average dude thinks, OMFG she's obsessed already. I'm NOT obsessed, I'm blunt as fuck. Don't waste my time because I will waste yours too.

And I realized I have an insecurity. I get scared that every guy I like will act like we're nothing infront of our peers and act like I'm everything when we're alone. I hate being hidden. I think it's childish.

Random tangents. I wanted to blab.

Edit: He's good [: he made my day.

Update

I suppose I should update this thing.
I'm going to do it fairly quickly & briefly.

Note: Fri-Sun, I had an open pad.

Well first of all, last Thursday I went to Sevillas in Long Beach to check it out for the bossman and for ZET's fundraising club event 'cus we all know I love my ZETas. I got plastered to say the least, free entrance, free alcohol from bros/friends. I threw up & was incapacitated to drive home. I threw up in my car too and out my car, prettttty fun. I actually had a lot of fun, maybe too much.

And last Saturday, I went to a Korean club called "Le Cercle Super Club." I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with what "booking clubs" are, but I shall explain. Basically, groups of men come to these types of clubs to book ktv (kareoke) rooms, which cost $500+ or a table which is probably only a hundred dollars less and not secluded. The rooms & tables include some kind of alcohol. The room I was in was pretty big, probably could seat 12 people comfortably. We had two bottles of Grey Goose. Okay and what happens is, this "phenomenon," if you will, called "booking." Guys can walk around and ask for girls or waiters will spot girls (if they are outside of rooms or not on the dance floor) and drag them to whatever table or ktv room wants girls. So pretty much girls get passed around, don't get me wrong though, you're at liberty to leave a males' room if you think the guys are uninteresting, but you might get caught and dragged to another room. It pretty much functions to let guys meet different girls and for girls to get free alcohol out of each room. It was the weirdest experience I've ever had, but interesting nonetheless, I don't know if I'd say it was fun since I pretty much had to watch my back and the Korean selection of alcohol was whack and it was an ugly cockfest.

My best friend sleptover at my house 'til Sunday afternoon. Then Sunday, I went to a superbowl party. I pretty much drank a bunch of tequila, had entirely too many beers, ate too much food, then at around 11pm, I left and went bowling with 21XL at Lucky Strike Lanes.

Okay so maybe I didn't update briefly.

That's all I have to say, for now. Too tired to say more.

The Strangest Antics

I know my last post was bizarre, but I think I wrote it half awake. Haha.

Well cancel that shit I wrote, I got a grip now.

I'm perfectly fine as I always am.

I have the strangest antics, my cousin Matt and I love to write away messages that sound like they're for somebody, but they are for nobody at all.

Shit just pops in our head. Funniest thing is, ppl always think somethin' of it, when the truth of the matter is that, all it is, is an AWAY MSG.

Fun stuff.

First day of school today, super fun. So far so good, I hope tomorrow is just as interesting.

Where Did I Fuck Up..?

Where the hell did I fuck up & let him get to me? How the hell did I handle this for so long then suddenly abandon everything I've been teaching myself? Why do I feel for him now?

I feel fucking stupid. I never meant to like him more than I already did. What the hell was I thinking?

I wanted it to be casual, I didn't have to think about him everyday, I only missed him on rare occasions and today, I missed him all day.

Stupiiiid me. Now I'm awake, thinking about it entirely too much, knowing he's not going to call or text or IM or say anything to me because that's how we've been for months.

Self-realization, I really like him & I don't want to.

Natural History Museum of Los Angeles

So, I went to NHM with my cousin Matt. The cousin that I'm ALWAYS with. He's practically my roll dawg. Haha. Anyways, here' some random pictures I took. Please excuse the poor quality, I was using my phone.

*btw it feels really weird to type b'cus one of my fingers has a bandaid on and it's starting to go numb lol.

Okay so, these pictures posted backwards. I'm going to give detail backwards then, starting towards the end of the day then to the beginning.

I took this picture of the bathroom wall when I was at a Jazz Cafe in Little Tokyo watching Matt's cousin Vex (from Super Crew)'s band Punch. They were super rad.

Boa Python skeleton, pretty dope huh? Believe it or not, I used to have a Python, I also had an Iguana.

Real people working on a T.Rex's bones. They're working on putting it up for display, still cleaning it

It was a T.Rex lab, you could walk by and see everything.

Matt thought the shadow looked dope, unfortunately I have no flash.

Triceratops. It was pretty massive, I can't even explain.

You have no idea how huge that walrus was, that's the only reason I took a picure.

Okay this Oarfish thing, I've never heard of and I wish I took a better picture but it was loooonggggg as fckkkkk & ugly as hell.

I just thought this meteorite looked dope. Shit's forreal, it's got crosshatches on it, probably melted all the minerals down on impact into the earth's atmos.

Yeah these things just looked weird as hell. But huuuuuuge, Like I wana say they were 3-4 feet long.

Now this Megamouth thing was nuts. It's actually a breed of shark. It has bristle teeth much like a humpback whale and pretty much feeds off the same stuff. It was HUGGGEE, I wish I wrote the stats down, but it was freaking me out.

I'm a girl. I thought the baby was cute.

This thing was ridiculously massive as well.

I love wolves.

I thought the hall looked dope, if I had a real camera, I would've been more artistic.

They were eating a Zebra, sadness. I love Zebra, everyone knows.

This picture reminds me of every movie that was ever filmed at museums like this one, like Harry Potter for example when he puts his cousin in the snake pit and makes the snake come alive or something. Or those freaking movies where the lovers are sitting in the middle dramatizing, yeah you catch my drift.

Scaled model of the entire city of Los Angeles, it was pretty big, I fucked up trying to get it on an angle.

Me and Matt actually ate first before doing anything. I was fucking starving. I was joking around with him too, 'bout driving all the way to LA jst to eat mac & cheese & apple juice. & I felt like a little kid during snacktime.

The end, or rather, the beginning of the trip.

Matt and I decided to do all this spontaneously, we had 7 hours to kill. We're going to do museums everytime we get bored in the afternoon. That's our shit, you have no idea how much we love education, lol.